By Theadosia Kurniawan
Back at high school, I wrote an unfinished piece called “The Soundtrack of a DP Student”. I kept it hidden away because it is rather personal. After rummaging through old files, I found it and finished it. Five years later, it is now time to share it.
To my fellow DP-ers, I hope you can find my lyrics relatable to an extent and that it may inspire you to keep moving forward, working hard and striving for greater heights.
*unlocks phone*
*opens music player app*
*selects “My Recently Played”*
*scrolls through songs*
When I started the DP in August 2011 there was a lot ahead of me. I felt prepared, yet not ready at the same time. I did not know what to expect. It was a big decision and put butterflies in my stomach.
1 August 2011
*Play Butterflies*
Take a deep breath, close my eyes
Steady that heart, oh how time flies
This is it
The time has come
Two years then, nothing but blue skies
Bright-eyed and curious
With a dash of fear
I may be small but I’m not alone
‘Cuz I got hope alive and it’s staying here
This adrenaline buzzing
Pumping through my veins
Will I fall or will I fly?
Take the leap and break the chains
Step on new terrain
Onwards to the unknown
But I’ve got this, I’ll work hard for this
Determined to the bone
Butterflies inside me
Can’t control my shakes
No I won’t back out, I’ll stand proud
I’ve got what it takes
Take a deep breath, close my eyes
Steady that heart, oh how time flies
This is it
The time has come
Two years then, nothing but blue skies
Everything went smoothly for the first year, until Year 11 exams came. I went through a major low point in the middle of it all, it left me full of uncertainty and insecurity.
14 May 2012
*Play Light Out*
What is going on?
Why am I here?
I see someone screaming
But I can’t hear a thing.
She’s trying to reach out
Finding someone to help
But there’s no one there
Just emptiness.
It’s dark, it’s cold, it’s lonely
Where did she go?
She falls
I want to help her
Somehow I can feel her pain
I can feel the burden
Her struggle
Makes me want to cry
But there’s no one there
Just emptiness
What is going on?
Why am I here?
I see someone screaming
But I can’t hear a thing.
An empty hallway
An empty classroom
I see her, I reach out
I realise
It’s me
My light is almost out
When things got tough, I looked to my friends and family. My gratitude for their support mid-way through DP, a difficult time in adolescence, continues to this day. When I was at my weakest and worst, they were always there for me. This song is dedicated to them.
7 September 2012
*Play The Most Important Thing*
I was at the lowest of lows
My world falling down, down, down
I was angry, ashamed, frightened, frayed
And yet you were there
My visions were once smooth sailing
But then the storm came rushing in
And I couldn’t handle it
I couldn’t bear, to get back up again
Started with high expectations
But got low results
I said to myself once
Shake it off, pick yourself back up
But the flow of the lows
Boy, they kept seeping in
Deeper I go down the void
I was lost, my mind within
I was at the lowest of lows
My world falling down, down, down
I was angry, ashamed, frightened, frayed
And yet you were there
You were there, still beside me
Ready to hold me, to comfort me
To say it’s alright, we need to fall before we fly
(You were all there)
Every step of the way
(You were all there)
Kept the darkness at bay
(You were all there)
I was selfish, cranky, moody, just plain crazy
And yet, you always stayed.
You’ve taught me an important lesson
The most important thing
The power of love
Can overcome that darkness within.
Now I’ve got the faith
The most important thing
I’ll keep fighting on
No time for darkness within
I’ve made it this far, I’ll push through
Give it the best that I have
The light is so near.
More smiles and less tears.
I’ll finish it strong
I won’t follow the crowd
I owe it to you, my life-savers
I just wanna say:
I’ll do you and me proud
After a much-needed break, I came back to school fresh-faced and ready to conquer what was ahead: the final year of DP. This was the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the climax. I still had some of those butterflies, but I’ve been down before and I got back up. I was ready to finish strong.
7 March 2013
*Play Do It Again*
Slow and steady
You’ve done this before
You’ve won the fight
There’s just one more
Tossed and turned
Anxiety once reigned
But you’ve fought it once
You can do it again
You can make it through
Just believe
Strong will, strong mind
You’ll go far and achieve
Slow and steady
You’ve done this before
You’ve won the fight
There’s just one more
Roll your sleeves up
Got work to do
But you’ve got a new energy
To see this through
No more fears
No doubts, no tears
It’s just you and your courage
To the finish
Even though, you’re on your own
Never be afraid, to reach out
For help is here
Through family and peers
Oh, you can do this
Slow and steady
You’ve done this before
You’ve won the fight
There’s just one more
Just like that, two years flew by and we were attending our Graduation! All the internal assessments (IA), theory of knowledge (TOK) essays, creativity, activity, service (CAS) hours and exams were now complete. Even our extended essay was done and dusted! As we all stood, shoulder to shoulder, singing our national anthem on stage and decorated with our gowns and caps, it was truly a surreal feeling. Seconds before we all tossed our caps in the air, our principal finished his closing address with one word: shine.
31 May 2013
*Play Shine*
Here we are
This is it
The time we’ve been waiting for
We’ve given it our all
Now the moment’s come
It’s all we want and more
We’ve taken the risk
And kept an open mind
Balanced our time
Cared for each other in kind
Now let’s celebrate!
Two years have gone by
So many memories
Let our wings fly
It’s time to go up and out
Into the world with a shout
Oh yeah, we shine.
We made our queries
Communicated our thoughts
We shared our knowledge
Strong principles it’s all brought
When we look back
And reflect on this journey
This adventure, with up and downs aplenty
We’ll always know
That with a storm comes a rainbow.
Now let’s celebrate!
Two years have gone by
So many memories
Let our wings fly
It’s time to go up and out
Into the world with a shout
Oh yeah, we shine.
Thea Kurniawan graduated from Binus International School Simprug, Jakarta with the IB diploma in 2013. Since completing her BSc in Engineering from the University of Western Australia in 2017, she now works in the Project Management division of Ernst & Young. In her spare time, Thea enjoys volunteering with youth organisations and being an advocate for girls in STEM.